How to Protect Your Family If Something Happens to You

Nobody likes thinking about it, but the people who depend on you will not have time to figure things out if something happens. This guide walks you through how to protect your family, step by step, in plain language. You can do most of it in an afternoon.

You do not need to be wealthy or have a complicated estate. If someone relies on you, whether a partner, children or a parent, this applies to you.

What does protecting your family actually mean?

It comes down to four things your family will need if you cannot be reached:

1. Legal decisions are in place. Who looks after your children, and who handles your affairs.
2. Money flows to the right people. Insurance and retirement accounts name the right beneficiaries.
3. They can find everything. Accounts, documents and instructions are not scattered or locked away.
4. They know what you wanted. Your wishes and personal messages are written down.

Most people cover the first two partially and skip the last two entirely. That is where families get stuck.

Step 1: Name a guardian for your children

If you have children under 18, this is the most important step. A will is where you name who would care for them. Without one, a court may decide. Read our guide on guardianship for your kids for how to choose someone.

Step 2: Make a will

A will says who receives your assets and who manages the process. You can use an online service or an attorney. Not sure which? See Trust & Will compared with Afterly, or read do I need a will if I don't have many assets.

Step 3: Check your beneficiaries and insurance

Life insurance, retirement accounts and some bank accounts pass to the person named on the account, not the person named in your will. Check that these are current, especially after a marriage, divorce or new baby.

Step 4: Choose someone to make decisions if you cannot

A power of attorney and a healthcare directive let someone act for you if you are ill or incapacitated, not just if you die. Ask an attorney how these work in your state.

Step 5: Write down where everything is

This is the step most plans miss. Your family may not know:

• Which bank, insurance and investment accounts you have
• Where the documents are kept
• How to get into your phone, email and online accounts
• Who to call first

One respondent in our survey described the problem from experience:

“I have this issue with my mother (elderly) and I write down all her passwords and info on my phone's notepad app, notepad on my PC, and i use to write them down physically. Due to the changing aspects of passwords and logins and important data it's difficult to keep up and /or keep private/secure or trust that things are totally secure sometimes.”

Use our digital estate plan checklist to work out what to include, and keep it in one private place instead of scattered notes.

Step 6: Make sure the right people can get in, and only when it matters

Sharing a master password with one person is risky. Better to pick two or more trusted people and control when they get access. In Afterly, release only starts after you miss check-ins and a grace period passes, then the number of contacts you chose must confirm. You also get a 72-hour window to cancel. You decide which categories each person can see.

In our survey of 50 US adults aged 25 to 55, people rated the idea of a vault like this 4.0 out of 5 for usefulness and 4.1 for likelihood to buy. Here is what some of them said:

“Yes, I think the idea addresses a real and growing concern, especially as more of our lives move online.”

“Idea is innovative and helpful.”

“I think it is a useful tool. My concern would only be privacy and security of the vault.”

Curious about the rest of what they said, including the worries? See Estate Planning in Your 30s & 40s: What People Really Think.

Step 7: Leave a personal message

Accounts and documents help your family handle things. A message helps them feel something. A note or a short video for your children, partner or parents costs nothing and tends to be what people treasure most. As one respondent put it:

“Often secrets die with the person. It would be nice to have some info of your relative or friend after they're gone.”

Step 8: Review once a year

Accounts change, passwords change, and so does your life. Put a yearly reminder in your calendar, and review after any big event such as a marriage, a new baby or a new home.

A simple plan for this weekend

• Saturday morning: list your accounts and gather your documents.
• Saturday afternoon: choose a guardian and your trusted contacts.
• Sunday: book or complete your will, and write one personal message.

You can start a free Afterly vault to keep it all in one place. Free includes 2 GB and 2 trusted contacts, and paid plans start at $0.99 a month. See pricing. This article is general information, not legal advice.

Frequently asked questions

What is the first thing I should do to protect my family?

Start with the basics: a will that names guardians for any children, up-to-date beneficiaries on insurance and retirement accounts, and a list of where your important accounts and documents are kept.

Do I need a will if I don't have many assets?

Often yes, especially if you have children. A will is where you name a guardian, and without one a court may decide. Rules vary by state, so consider speaking to an estate planning attorney.

Who should know where my documents and accounts are?

At least two people you trust. Relying on a single person is risky, because they may be unreachable or be affected by the same event.

What is a trusted contact?

A trusted contact is someone you choose to receive specific information if you become unresponsive. In Afterly you decide what each contact may see, and release only happens after missed check-ins and confirmation.

How often should I review my plan?

Once a year, and after major life events such as marriage, a new baby, a new home or a change of job.